Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Enjoy the penises
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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