She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
