Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
