i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
