just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
