As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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