Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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