the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
