So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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