They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
