just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
