Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
