you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
