I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
