it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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