Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
