problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
