I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
