i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
