I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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