how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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