That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
