he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
