Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
