After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
