Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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