I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
