so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
