I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
