Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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