dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
