I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
