Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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