So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
