You were right. It hurts to walk today.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
