I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
