How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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