they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
should my penis look like a turkey
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
