Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
