I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
