I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
soo... how was my night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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