he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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