I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
