I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
