let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
