He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
