Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
