i would punch a child for taco bell
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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