We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This baby is an asshole
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
