The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
